Can you build your confidence?
A {large amount of} people reflexively say “No – you’re either confident or you’re not.” {However in} my experience, that’s {not} true.
Confidence {is really a} skill, and like {any} skill, {it is possible to} master it {as time passes}. ({This is really} true {of most} {regions of} social skills. {You may get|You will get|You can find|You can obtain} my free Ultimate Guide to Social Skills here.)
To {demonstrate} {why}, {I wish to|I would like to} {demonstrate} {probably the most} dramatic changes I’ve ever seen. Here’s {students} of mine, Chris, who went from awkward and hesitant to confident and natural.
As Chris learned {developing} confidence, he’s gone from barely scraping by to now turning down multiple 6-figure job offers and {creating a} lucrative business {privately}.
I {desire to} show you {proof} his dramatic confidence transformation.
Here’s a video of Chris {whenever we} first met. He {was previously} SERIOUSLY AWKWARD. See {why} here (7:35 {is particularly} cringe-worthy).
But Chris knew people aren’t just born “naturals” {or even more} confident – they simply {have significantly more} practice.
That’s why he {found} me {to develop} his confidence. I {caused} him on improving his {capability to} {connect to} people and {feel safe} – not awkward, not anxious, {however in} control and confident. {The outcomes} {have already been} amazing.
Look at him now:
Chris {is merely} {one of the numerous} {types of} people who’ve learned {how exactly to} be confident {with a couple} of my tested techniques. He {achieved it} and so {is it possible to}.
Today {I wish to|I would like to} give you {usage of} {a few of} my best material on being {well informed}. Until now, {lots of|plenty of} this material has only been available inside my premium courses.
Confidence hack #1: The Invisibility Cloak
One Halloween during {senior high school}, my school {placed on} a haunted house.
For the haunted house, I wore a mask and a cape. {It had been} really interesting {to see} myself and {just how} I {began to} act. I started acting crazy, {playing around} and scaring people. {I did so} all these {items that} {I’d} never do if it were just me wearing normal clothes.
Why? Because I felt safe behind the mask.
Years later, {when i} started to {make an effort to} improve my social skills, I realized {the advantage of} what I had accidentally learned from wearing that mask.
Here’s what I learned: I didn’t {need to} change who I was. {I possibly could} simply change {just how} I acted.
Or as I’ve always said, “Behavior first, then attitude.”
We {may use} this idea {inside our} everyday interactions, too (no actual mask needed). I call it The Invisibility Cloak Technique – {a straightforward} but effective {solution to} cover up {all of your} fears and anxieties before you enter any social situation.
Whenever you’re in a social situation, imagine you’re wearing a cloak {which allows} {one to} be invisible, or {hide} certain {elements of} you.
Now, it’d be weird {in the event that you} walked around with a crazy Halloween mask on and went {right into a} Starbucks saying “Greetings, how’s {your entire day}?”
Not {likely to} go well.
But {imagine if}, mentally, {it is possible to} apply this same tactic?
If I {visit a} conference, I’ll {placed on} my Invisibility Cloak, {that allows} me to feel confident and say, “Who am I {likely to} be today? {What’s} my behavior {likely to} reflect?”
If {I wish to|I would like to} {be considered a} really gregarious, friendly, outgoing guy, I’m not changing who {I’m} {inside} to be inauthentic. I’m just changing my behavior.
And {as time passes}, my attitude changes {to complement} my behavior.
Confidence hack #2: Make confidence {creating a} game
One of {the items} I do {would be to} {make an effort to} make confidence {right into a} game.
I {make an effort to} {ensure it is} fun {rather than} thinking “Oh, my God. {What’s} the technical thing {I will} be doing? What’s {the proper} phrase? What’s the smile? What’s the tone of my voice?”
That’s not fun, and it’s actually really overwhelming {to believe} {this way}.
It’s {far better} {to create} it {a casino game} that’s fun so it’s {better to|simpler to} {adhere to} overtime. {Listed below are} two fun and easy games {it is possible to} play {to improve} your confidence.
The “60 Seconds” Confidence Game
This {is simple} {and also} pretty self-explanatory.
Within 60 seconds of {entering} {a meeting}, a {restaurant}, or really {somewhere else}, {rise} to someone and introduce yourself.
The only rule is {that you need to} {take action} within 60 seconds, before your anxiety {will get} {the very best} of you.
It’s {very easy} and straightforward, but practicing {this can} help build your confidence {as time passes} because you’ll constantly be approaching new people and feeling {convenient} around them.
The “Day of Compliments” Confidence Game
The rules {have become} {like the} “60 Seconds” game. {Whatever you} do is {rise} {and present} someone {an authentic} compliment.
You might say {something similar to} “{I like} your sweater.” Or if you’re at a {restaurant}, “Wow, {I like} how fast you made that coffee. I’ve {never really had} it delivered that fast {if you ask me}.”
Whatever the compliment {could be}, just {concentrate on} delivering it to someone. Notice how you’ll {begin to} feel {convenient} around people and confident in yourself {once you} do.
Push {you to ultimately} try {achieving this} {3 x} within {a day}.
It’s {lots of fun} to see people’s {a reaction to} this because {a lot of people} {proceed through} life without getting many compliments – {you could be|you may be|you will be} the exception and make their day {should you choose}.
Bonus confidence hack #3: Use scripts to “cheat”
Remember: Confidence {is really a} skill. You’ll {are more} natural by practicing.
To make practicing even easier, {I’ve} some word-for-word scripts {you can test}.
Just enter your email here {to obtain} my free “Start Conversations with Anybody” guide {which includes} 3 openers that {work with} 90% of situations and 3 low-stakes experiments {you can test}.